I feel a strong pull to go out and be everything I am, to fulfill my raison d’etre right now but I also know real life does not happen that way. Life unfolds step by step. I don’t have a clue what tomorrow holds and even though I walk with God (I have never seen God and I have never heard him audibly, but I know when God is present with me and when I am present with God, the same way my conscience works), I don’t know many things about my calling – what I am dying for, because like everyone else, I die daily – and my days are numbered.
It can create an agitation in one’s soul when you know you do not have all the time in the world to do your specific assignment on this planet and yet you do not know the details. The tension in my soul can lead me to continual panting after The Omniscient One as the deer pants after the water brooks or it can cause extreme frustration. I can rest in faith that today is necessary for tomorrow and now is all I need to have and just be completely present to the now.
A few days ago, I started to reread Mike Murdock’s “The Assignment” and he said some things that spoke to the agitation deep inside me:
“You will not receive an understanding of your entire assignment during one visit with God. He is interested in relationship not an event. He requires continuous exchange with Him. He imparts information in paragraphs, not in chapters.”
“The message of the manna is: every morning you must enter The Secret Place for fresh instructions for that very day.”
Perhaps this is the reason Jesus Christ asked us to pray, “Give us our daily bread”.